Community... it comes in strange ways.

welp... it's 3:40 am and I can't sleep. I laid in bed for about an hour and then gave up.

Let me tell you about my week.

Last Friday, a road trip to Tyler, Texas took place. It involved the tunage of "Jessie's Girl," High School Musical 3, "Shake It" and Jack Johnson to name a few. Poor Daniel had to endure the HSM3 and Taylor Swift for a little while. It's what happens when 3 future roommates slash musical soul mates are in one car. Somehow, I think he lived.

Camp was a blast. This was my first time back to camp since December, and thus the first time back since the depression had kicked in. A loss of interest in PC had been involved, and so I was nervous about going back... I mean, the medication has definitely helped, but at the same time, I I had also spent months moving on and letting go before finding out I was coming back... I had already given up the name Troggie... I was ok with the idea of no longer pushing children on swings or telling them not to step on the rope at the Breathtaker or cleaning up their spills in the Rock. Even though I'm still trying to totally pump myself up for this summer, the weekend was almost successful. Almost.

There were some new staffers at this conference, and honestly, I think getting to know them helped me get excited about camp more than the food or the cheers or setting up for Pitch Black Attack. Again. I cannot WAIT to hang out with them every day all summer. They are studs. On Sunday, we forgot to serve grapes to the campers for breakfast... Which meant we each got to take home AT LEAST a bag of grapes. Lacey and I actually took 2 bags each. This turned into a fun little game. All of us were sharing grapes and throwing them at each other and these grapes actually served as a type of community builder. Unfortunately, they may have also been our demise. God was probably laughing at us touching all these grapes and then throwing them to see who could catch them in their mouths... oh silly us. If we only knew.

Driving home was not quite as pleasant... I wasn't feeling too swell. But I got home, managed to eat a couple strawberry twizzlers and peanut butter crackers... and then it hit. Oh. My. Gosh. The PAIN. My stomach hurt SO bad I thought I was dying. My roommate ended up cooking something for dinner that I'm sure tasted delicous but my poor stomach could not handle the smell so I had to leave right then. I thought that maybe I was hungry, so I stumbled to my car and drove to Panera, the only place that almost sounded edible. I got there at 8:16. Panera closed at 8:00. Since I had already spent most of my energy trying not to pass out while driving South on 35, I sat in the parking lot and stared at the door of Panera for a few minutes... and then slowly made my way back to my apartment. But remember, I couldn't go back into my apartment. So I rolled down a window and turned the heater up and laid in my car for about an hour, praying that I wouldn't throw up. I guess I thought I felt good enough to go to StuFu meeting... so I did. But I left after 10 minutes and drove back to my apartment parking lot and laid there for another half an hour and then texted Rachel, who was at a meeting, to see if she could bring me some sprite. So she did, and then told me to go to Jessie and Alexis' apartment and lay down on their couch. So I did. She also gave me some pepto pills, which I took, although I was skeptical. I kid you not, 5 minutes after taking those pills, I threw up really really nasty things. And also, what kind of bathroom has carpet in the toilet area? Whose idea was that? I was hoping after this, I would be feeling better... But I wasn't, and it was getting late. So I went back to my apartment and Rachel lit candles in our room and I opened a window because I was sufficating and then curled up in a ball on my floor. Don't worry, I only puked one more time after that. eewwwwww. I hate throwing up. I cry every time. I stand there and feel helpless and alone. Luckily, this is only the 2nd time I have ever thrown up since middle school, so it's not like I feel helpless and alone standing over a toilet on a regular basis.

I tried to go to Aerobics the next morning, but alas, one lap around the room made me regret this decision. No class for me. I went back home and laid on the couch. All day. My dear friend, Jonathan Break It Down Fletcher came all the way from LSU and sat with me... and then fell asleep on my floor... and then sat with me when I fell asleep on my couch... and then watched Hannah Montana with me. Seriously, I love that kid. We came up with the phrase, "There are more buffalo in the pit..." For Towers staffers who are distressed because their camp crushes don't like them back... because let's be honest, they NEVER do... It's all good, there are more buffalo in the pit! :)

Well during this awful turn of events, I found out that at least 5 of my fellow staffers and many of the campers at the Towers that weekend were going through the same things I was! Hooray for community through puking! I felt so overjoyed to know that I was not alone! Now it's turned into this huge joke and we seriously are better friends because of it. ha. God is mysterious.

Well don't worry, folks, my week gets EVEN BETTER. On Tuesday, I wake up, still feeling weak, but much better, only to find that there are bed bugs. EVERYWHERE. ooohh my gosh. I wish I could tell you where all we found them, but I'm afraid you might have nightmares. Yes, my apartment is infested with bed bugs. How does that even happen? Where on earth did they even come from? Rach and I had been getting bites all over our arms... legs... backs... faces... for about a month, but we really had no idea where they were coming from... I mean, yeah, at one point the thought, "What if I have bed bugs?" did cross my mind... but who really thinks that their bed is home to hundreds of tiny little blood sucking bugs?

So that has been an adventure. Goodbye mattress that I have had my entire life. I'm trying not to think about it right now since sentamental things like that are what sometimes spur my crying with no control moments... but seriously, someone's gonna pay. :) But seriously. haha.

During this time, I hadn't been taking my medication... a bunch of different reasons... So on Wednesday, when another emotional blow that isn't worth mentioning took place, I completely lost it. I thought I was going to sufficate. I have never packed up my things so fast. At first I was just going to go home, but I decided to see if Allison would take me in for the night... and she would... because she's amazing... So I drove to College Station and hung out with her and Blair and Kimberly for the night. Best decision of my life. The drive there and back was just long enough to exhort any extremely negative emotions, and they were able to distract me slash talk to me about it in a positive way to where I was feeling much better when I left...

Although... at the Bonzai, they had grapes... THE grapes... Blake had been at camp that weekend and had brought them back with her. When I said, "oooh no I can't eat grapes" Blair snatched them up and rushed them to the fridge. haha! I have the best friends!

Anyway, I am now home. And I slept until 4 on Friday... I'm pretty sure I have never done that... ever. I don't even know what happened. The only time I woke up was at 7 that morning when my alarm went off. WEIRD. That didn't last long, though... The next morning I was awake and ready to go at 8:30.

Ok I apologize for this ridiculously long post. It's now 4 in the morning. Maybe I should go try to sleep again. Since my alarm is set to go off in 4 hours.

peace.