Tuesday, June 29

1 Corinthians 13

So, I started a new project. I am painting 1 Corinthians 13 phrase by phrase on different canvases... This will take me a while since I don't have money just to spend on canvases all at once. But these are the ones I got done today:

The cloud in the first and bird in the last are made out of fabric. The owl one is my favorite.

This verse has always been a favorite. I want to use it in our wedding, and at first, I was against this idea because it seemed cliche... but then I realized, "Since when did God's Word become cliche?" This words are so practical and so beautiful at the same time. It has become an important verse to me and Nick as we have been learning what it means to not only love each other but love others too.
My first friend at Coram Deo Academy, the lovely Mollie, used to always quote a phrase that applied to the situation when we were in 7th and 8th grade. While Mollie had a huge influence on my life in many ways, this is definitely something I will never forget about her. We would be sitting at lunch, dealing with silly middle school drama, and she would say, "Oh, he is so aggravating... but love is not easily angered..." And we would move on. Or she would be telling me a story of her siblings (she has a lot), and instead of staying upset she would say, "But love is patient and kind..." Her example really encouraged me to do the same.

Love is patient: Another word for patient here is long suffering. It's so easy to be patient with someone when they aren't doing anything wrong. It's when they are hurtful, mean, or annoying that it gets hard. I think that word "long suffering" is perfect because it is a reminder that love is not always easy.

Love is kind: Matthew Henry says that this is another word for bountiful. Love is not only being patient with someone but actually actively overflowing with kindness. Someone who is kind is not just polite. He or she is eager to do good.

Love does not envy: I like the way Matthew Henry puts it in his commentary, so I will just quote him: "It is not grieved at the good of others; neither at their gifts nor at their good qualities, their honours not their estates. If we love our neighbour we shall be so far from envying his welfare... that we shall share in it and rejoice at it."

Love does not boast: When we love others, we lift them up, not ourselves. It is so easy to make life all about me, but if I am truly going to love like Jesus loves, then I will spend more time and more words building others up than making myself look good.

Well, that is all I have for now. I will post more when I finish them.

Today, I attended Watermark's Young Adult service. First, there were more people there than go to UBC. Second, I am in love with that church building. I don't think that's a very good reason to go to a church, if by itself, but oh my goodness. They also gave me a cookie and it was delicious.

To do list for tomorrow:
- Get my ring cleaned (still)
- Check my mail 300 times
- Clean out my closet
- Finish moving into my room


Monday, June 28

I decided to pull out the old Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible today. Let me tell ya, that thing is huge. It was a gift from Coram Deo when I graduated from high school, and I haven't used it much.
Recently, I decided to study Proverbs 31:10-31, verse by verse. Honestly, it is difficult for me to understand all of the commentary... there are so many words. But if I find something interesting, I will write about it here.

Today's verse:
Proverbs 31:10-- Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. (New Living Translation)
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. (King James Version)

First of all, did you know that the 22 verses about being a virtuous woman are in alphabetical order according to the Hebrew alphabet? How cool is that?! I really wish I knew Hebrew instead of Latin or Greek... Or I guess maybe as well as Latin and Greek.

Anyway, I find the translation of virtuous so cool here. Henry says that this word also means "a woman of strength." Also, "it is the same word that is used in the character of good judges..."

As a growing, Godly woman and a future wife, I should be living in strength, not fear. I should stand firm upon my principles because "a virtuous woman is a woman of resolution" (according to the commentary).

This is all for tonight. I addressed half of the save the dates tonight! Now waiting for the other half to be delivered...

Tomorrow's to do list:
- Deposit a check
- Get my ring cleaned
- Paint
- Check the mail 300 times to see if I got any checks or letters from Nick
- See Toy Story 3 again with Clay, Etienne, Callie, and the grandparents
- Attend Watermark's young adult group with Hannah
- Wear my AWESOME hat that I got in Austin

be still

"At the beginning of the day, let all distractions and empty talk be silenced and let the first thought and the first word belong to him whom our whole life belongs." -- Life Together, Dietrich Bonnhoeffer

Ode to Rachel

Every now and then, I like to write about specific people in my life. I have featured my Pappa and my Caleb.
As a side note, I just read through a bunch of different entries trying to find those... I love rereading old blog posts. I read the one describing my experience with the flu and laughed out loud... I was so miserable...Anyway, back to Rachel. Just as a fyi, this is long.

Let's go back four years and 1.5 months ago. I am sitting at my friend Josh's house, checking my email, and FINALLY get the one I have been waiting for: my housing assignment. I see that my roommate now has a name, so naturally I look her up on facebook to put a face with the name. We talk on facebook and aim, figure out rooming necessities and discuss life. Honestly, we didn't have much in common at the time. She loved band and ballet, I loved softball and gymnastics. She loved classical music, I didn't just listen to classical music often. She had a boyfriend, I didn't. She was spending her summer taking classes and in marching band, I was going to be at Pine Cove. However, we did both love Grey's Anatomy. And we had the same Baylor orientation week in June.

I still remember standing in the lobby by the door into Waco Hall, looking at the girl I was about share a room with for 9 months. We hugged (ha!) and talked and everything seemed great. Our parents became instant bffs. While we were in special student sessions and taking entrance exams, they were talking about our accomplishments. I got to hear all about Rachel's study skills from my dad. I was glad that my roommate would at least like to study so I could study too.

Then, our parents had us take a picture. After visiting our dorm room, they made us stand outside the door and take a picture. It was uber awkward. I really love this picture now because it is so funny. The other day, Rachel's mom mentioned it to me after Rach's wedding. She said, "I still remember you guys standing for that picture with unsure faces thinking, 'Is this going to work out?'"
August came around and we both moved in. My 18th birthday was the 2nd day of welcome week. I cried. But Rachel gave me an awesome Grey's Anatomy poster. I had a few very close high school friends who were also at Baylor, so I spent most of those first few weeks with them. I was trying to find a balance between living life as a college student, staying friends with my high school bffs, and keeping in touch with my baby ruth sisters. Rachel and I did not spend a lot of time outside the dorm together at first, but it was a good speed, for me, at least. We walked to classes together, and talked about homework and boys (hah let's be honest, HER boy) and home. I still remember her face and the pang of regret in my heart when I told her I dropped chemistry (8:00 class of terror) and she replied with, "NOO! YOU CAN'T ABANDON ME!"

By the time November came around, I was starting to feel more comfortable in the dorm. This may seem like a long time for others, but for me, it was right on time. And then, our home flooded. That was some definite bonding. This picture is disgusting but just imagine both of us getting little sleep and having to clean out our rooms due to standing water everywhere. Also, notice Rachel's nerd shirt.

In December, we took our first classic picture. I don't even remember what we were driving back from, but oh my gosh this picture is so funny. For years we have tried to replicate it, but nothing can beat the original.

Second semester solidified the friendship, with NY Times collecting and decorating, Grey's Anatomy watching, late night laughing, music sharing, midnight ice cream eating, and Cove toilet paper stealing. And of course taking care of our pets. There was Jack the Bean, from my salad, Rasputin the Roach, from Rachel's drawer, and Puff the Dragon from the pipes above us. Rachel sat there beside me as I murdered my computer, Bobby, and stared in horror as I freaked out about it. I was there when her computer stopped working, and I stared in horror at her as she completely melted down. Here are just a few other pics from freshman year:Taken in February, an effort to replicate our original

Our collection of New York TimesCleaning our bathroom during finals week

Sophomore year came along and she lived in the same dorm and I moved to an apartment. But I still spent many many nights sitting on her bed or laying on her floor doing homework and laughing when delirium hit. We both had different struggles and pain, but the bond remained. We sat together during Dr. Null's Social World first semester or groaned together during large group Social World second semester. And my camera broke so there weren't very many pictures...

Sophomore year efforts to replicate our 2 originals

Late night studying at 7th and James

Junior year came and weird housing situations put us back in the same room once again, but this time, off campus. I really believe that God used my failed efforts of other things to put us back in the same place.

This year involved a lot of StuFu for me and APO for her. It was full of hard classes and bed bugs and crying and Friends and doctors appointments and the flu. We played dress up and made some awesome music videos.

We retook our door picture on Rachel's 21st birthday
We were both up super early to be in the largest collegiate parade in the nation for homecoming!

And then my roomie got engaged. And I screamed. And we had a party.
And replicated our original picture, of course.

And then senior year came along, even though we never thought it would. We lived together again in the same room. I think having an actual roommate creates an unique type of vulnerability. Over the 3 years we shared a room, I had spent more time with her than anyone else. I had trouble sleeping when I came home because I wasn't used to being in a room by myself. I always had someone to talk to and laugh with and share stories with. If something happened with Nick, she knew, even if I didn't tell her. If something happened with anyone else, she knew. I trusted her more than anyone else at Baylor, because she had proven her trustworthiness time and time again for years.

Senior year was full of bearobics and Glee and sociology and children's literature and Harry Potter. She planned a wedding, and I got engaged. We enjoyed new things but also reminisced about old times. We played in the snow and watched Baylor win basketball games.

First day of classes for senior year, second semester
Last day of college

And then we graduated. And moved out. And our time as roommates came to an end after four years.
So we went back to our door and took a picture.

And then, my roommate got married. It was beautiful and perfect. And now she has a new roomie.

I have been so blessed by Rachel and her willingness to put up with me for 4 years! :) I love you SO much, roomie! I can't wait to go back to that door and take a picture by it at homecomings in future years. You are a rockstar, and my life would suck without you.

Friday, June 18

"How much time we lose by refusing to lower the wings of our spirit and become totally quiet before Him! Imagine the calm, the rest, and the peace that will come as we wait in His presence until we hear from Him!" - L.B. Cowman
"It is easily forgotten that the fellowship of Christian brethren is a gift of grace, a gift of the Kingdom of God that any day may be taken from us, that the time that still separates us from utter loneliness may be brief indeed... It is grace, nothing but grace, that we are allowed to live in community with Christian brethren." - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I take community for granted so easily.
"The Kingdom is to be in the midst of your enemies. And he who will not suffer this does not want to be of the Kingdom of Christ; he wants to be among friends, to sit among roses and lilies, not with the bad people but the devout people. O you blasphemers and betrayers of Christ! If Christ had done what you are doing who would ever have been spared?" - Martin Luther

Well, this is convicting.

Tuesday, June 15

It's time for healing, time to move on.
It's time to fix what's been broken too long.
Time to make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong.

There's a wave that's crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender.

Whatever You're doing inside of me,
It feels like chaos, but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
But I'm giving in to something heavenly.

Time for a milestone, time to begin again.
Reevaluate who I really am.
Am I doing everything to follow Your will?
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills?

Show me what it is You want from me.
I give everything, I surrender.

Time to face up, clean this old house.
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years.
Time to release all my held back tears.

[Whatever You're Doing-- Sanctus Real]