Book lists

I seem to always have a reading list that never diminishes... In fact, I think it just gets longer... Too many books, too little time.

Here is my current reading list:
- The Bible, especially Mark
- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
     - This is my third time to read it, and I am still catching things I missed before.  I think that is because for the first time, I have read all seven in the span of a few weeks, so I am able to mesh together the big picture.  I have said it once, I will say it again. J.K. Rowling is a genius.
- Sacred Marriage- Gary Thomas
     - Recommended to anyone currently married, or who wants to get married sometime in the future.

Here is my "started, but still need to finish" list:
- The Cost of Discipleship - Dietrich Bonhoeffer
- Life Together- Dietrich Bonhoeffer
- Men are Like Waffles, Women are like Spaghetti- Bill and Pam Ferrel
     - I stopped reading this because I liked "For Women Only" much better... It's almost like they are trying to be funny, but are just super cheesy.  But it has some interesting ideas and I still need to finish it.
- I Believe- Grant Teaff

The "I own but haven't started yet" list:
- The Tipping Point- Malcolm Gladwell

And finally, my "don't have, but want to read" list:
- The Connected Child- Karyn Purvis
- Adopted for Life- Dr. Russell Moore
- Letters to Children- CS Lewis
- The Summer Kitchen- Lisa Wingate
- The Divine Conspiracy- Dallas Willard
- Radical- David Platt
- The Prodigal God- Timothy Keller
- Transform a City- Eric Swanson
- Tale of Three Kings- Gene Edwards
- Mere Christianity- CS Lewis
- The Great Divorce- CS Lewis

And here is a little list of I think you should read in the near future:
- Life of Pi- Yann Martel
- On Fairy Stories- JR Tolkien, along with his own fairy story, Leaf by Niggle
- Train Go Sorry: Inside a Deaf World- Leah Hager Cohen

Child Abuse Prevention

I don't generally let the silly things on facebook or twitter make me upset.  I think that social media is a brilliant way to communicate with large groups of people, but sometimes, things just go wrong.

This new "Change your profile picture to a cartoon" business actually made me angry.  We have gotten so used to using Facebook as a form of identity that we think that changing your profile picture in order to fight child abuse and bring back warm fuzzy memories is the way to protect the hundreds of thousands of children in the US alone who suffer from abuse each year.  "Well, I changed my profile pic for a couple days, done my good deed for the week."  Hiding behind Facebook makes us feel like we have actually accomplished something.  Like we are making a change.

If you want to change your profile picture to a cartoon, go ahead. But don't pretend like you are saving a child's life.  How about raising awareness by introducing advocacy centers and shelters?  How about educating people on the symptoms of abuse so anyone who comes into contact with children will know what to look for? And if they notice something, letting them know who they need to call and why it is important to actually do something.


So, in case you hadn't gathered, I am not changing my profile picture to a fun childhood cartoon. Because child abuse isn't fun. It isn't nostalgic.  It kills thousands of children every year.  Instead, here is some information on how you can get involved. 

In Central Texas:
- Family Abuse Center- I spent 2 semesters volunteering at this center.  We led group play therapy sessions for the kids while their moms were in their own group therapy.  It was hard. The kids were in desperate need of healthy attention. But it was an incredible learning opportunity for me. The FAC does a great job at providing a clean, safe, and free place for families running away from abusive homes.  They provide education for the moms, and stability for the kids.  The FAC is always in need of donations.  If you live in Central Texas and are interested in volunteering, they love that too. Just check out the VOLUNTEER section on the website.

- Talitha Koum- While TK is not specifically for child abuse victims, they do work with many children who suffer from neglect and abuse.  These kids come from the poorest of poor neighborhoods in Waco.   Talitha Koum provides a nurturing, healthy environment for the children to grow up in.  They not only provide for the kids while they are in the nursery and preschool, but they continue to work with the schools as the children grow out of the programs, providing food, clothing, school supplies, and toys.  They also hold weekly parenting meetings.  Every child is part of play therapy and is under the watch of a child psychologist.  Like the FAC, TK can also benefit from donations and volunteers.  I worked here as a part of a research lab my senior year, and my life was seriously changed.

- Children's Advocacy Center

In DFW:
I do not have experience with the centers in the DFW area, so I am just going to post some links, and if you are interested, you can check them out!

- Children's Advocacy Center of Collin County- Plano
- Alliance for Children- Tarrant County
- Child Abuse Prevention Center- Dallas
- Dallas Children's Advocacy Center
- Dallas CASA

Finally, know the signs.  This is something you can do with little time or sacrifice on your part. You think that children aren't abused where you are?  You're wrong.  I know it is easy to assume that my neighborhood and my city are "too nice" to be a place for something like this.  But it just isn't true.  HERE is a great website with information on how to spot child abuse.

It's better to act and be wrong, than to think everything is fine and be wrong.  If you believe a child is being neglected or abused, you are breaking the law if you don't report it. (The same is true for someone over 65 and for those with disabilities).  CLICK HERE for some Texas hotline numbers for Child Protective Services.  You can also call 1-800-4-A-CHILD.  Please call 911 if you believe the child is in immediate danger.

a poem.

From my diary when I was 7:

"Birds"
By Haley Purdy,

Red yollow brown
white blake black
and Pink They

are very Prettey

The End

trust.

"He made their hearts, so He understands everything they do..." - Psalm 33:15

I don't have a problem forgetting that God created me. But I think that I fail to fully comprehend what that means.  When I read Psalm 33:15 this morning, I was reminded of something I often forget.

God made my heart.  He understands me better than anyone, because He made me that way.  There are times when I do something or struggle with something and I don't understand why.  An example of this is fear.  Sometimes there are fears I just can't get over.  It doesn't matter how irrational I know they are, I am still afraid. 

When I was younger, I was a competitive gymnast.  During my last season, I missed my hands doing a back walkover on the beam during my routine.  I was able to pull my legs around fast enough to land on the ground instead of the beam, so I was not physically hurt. But emotionally, everything had changed.  I still did the skill by myself for competitions, but during practice, I had a total mental block.  I was absolutely terrified, and I could not help it.  I could barely do it with my coach spotting, even though she had been there for me since I was seven years old, and had saved me from many falls.  I had no reason not to trust her, I just couldn't get over my fear.

This was so frustrating for everyone involved.  I didn't understand why I couldn't just get over it like I had gotten over so many other fears during my gymnastics career.  It wasn't my first time to fall, and it definitely wasn't my worst fall.  I had been hurt many times before doing other skills... fallen on my face or neck... slammed into the beam or vault... whacked my legs against the high bar while dismounting... but I had been able to talk myself out of the fear and keep working.

This is just one example.  Of course, there are many other, more serious instances where I don't understand why I feel and think the way I do.

But even when I do not understand myself, my Creator does.  How comforting is that? I don't know why I can't just trust Him... But He does.  And because He understands, I know He knows how to help me.  Sometimes I don't know what to do about the problem because I don't know why I feel that way.  But He can fix the problem, because He understands my heart.

Humans have this need to feel understood... Think about how many times have you heard someone say about their significant other, "He just gets me..." While it is important for me to feel understood by Nick, I need to remember that the Creator of the universe already understands me better than anyone else ever will.

ASL

This semester, I am taking American Sign Language at the local community college.  This has definitely not been the blow off course you would think it would be considering where I am taking it.  I have already learned so much in the past 3 months.  In order to complete the course, each student is required to go into the Deaf community five different times for at least 1.5 hours each time.  I have been to two different Deaf churches and then a community/living center for Deaf senior citizens.  I went to the community center twice, because there, you actually sit and have conversations with the residents.  It is very interactive.  They are so kind and are sure to sign slow enough so I can understand, and they ask over and over again if I get what they are saying.  Most of the time it takes two or three tries, but I am definitely learning! I wish that my other foreign language courses had required something like this, because there is nothing like entering into a community where you are forced to communicate using the language you are learning.  And there is nothing like signing something wrong and having someone laugh at your efforts.
We are also required to spend at least 20 hours in lab.  This lab is run by Deaf instructors, and there is a strict no voice policy.  I definitely learn more in lab than I do in class, and it is supposed to be that way.

Now, you might be wondering to yourself, "Self, why is she taking ASL?"  Well, that is a great question!  I want to be a clinical psychologist for children, especially those who have experienced trauma or neglect.  Many Deaf children face a form of trauma because they are unable to communicate and participate fully in the world around them.  Many hearing parents refuse to learn sign language and are not able to talk to their Deaf children.  If a Deaf child goes to a public school, they may have some friends and teachers who can talk to them, but for the most part, they go through the day without communicating with many people.  Just imagine having to go through every single day without being able communicate efficiently with those around you.  And not only can you not communicate, but so many pieces of life slip through without notice because you can't hear.

Because of this, many Deaf children suffer from depression and anger issues.  They are trapped inside their heads with hardly anyone who is able to help.  They need counselors and psychologists just like regular children do.  But most of the time, they have to bring an interpreter with them.  It's hard enough to tell your struggles, worries, and problems to a health care professional without a stranger standing in the room listening.  But many Deaf clients are required to tell their problems to an interpreter who is hired for the job.  Even the highest assurance of confidentiality does not make this easy or comfortable.  I want to be able to eliminate the middle man. Deaf children can feel safer talking directly to me.  Deaf parents with hearing children can feel more comfortable because I can talk to them directly instead of using an interpreter or their children to communicate.

Ultimately, I hope that learning ASL expands the pool of clients I am able to help.  So many psychologists are able to help hearing children.  I want to be able help both the hearing and the Deaf.

Google Calendar

I just wanted to take a moment to blog about a little gadget I have recently come to love.

 

 Now, I have loved Gmail, Google Documents, and Google Reader for years now, but I have only recently tried Google Calendars.

 

It is very similar to iCal on my mac, which I LOVE. But there are some key differences/additions that have gotten me hooked.

 

1. I can pull this up on any computer as long as I have internet. My iCal is great because I don't need internet, but I have to have my computer.  If I am at work or on a campus computer, I am out of luck. But Google Calendars is accessible anywhere, even on slow old PCs.

 

2. It has an awesome Tasks List. 

 

 I am a list maker. I love lists. Sticky notes with lists. Everywhere. The best part of a list is that you get to cross something off when you are done.  Yes, I am one of those people who will just write something down so I can cross it off.  In the summer of 2009, when I was working in the main office at camp, Jason had a huge list written on the board in his office.  Above it said, "Haley's List."  I worked very hard to get things done on this list.  But Jason never let me cross anything off! He would always do it himself.  He said that it was his list, so he got to get the joy of a job completed.  I don't really know what is fair about this, but lets just say it forced me to work with the intrinsic motivation I already had instead of for the extrinsic reward of crossing things off a list. Or maybe I am just being a little dramatic.  He still rewarded me with Sonic.

 

Anyway, this list maker is awesome and super easy to use! When you check something off, it is checked AND the words get crossed out! Amazing! Your tasks also show up on the calendar if you give them a due date.

 

3. I can share my calendars with anyone. 

 

 

Nick and I can both have our calendars in the same place.  This is definitely one thing we can't really do with iCal.  I like it because we can see what we have going on, and it helps avoid conflicting schedules.  

That is all. If you don't already use Google Reader, you should look into that now. And I would suggest checking out the Calendar feature while you are at it.

they're here!

 Well, we got our 2 other portraits in the mail from Walgreens today!!! I love these!!

 This one is the same size as the one we got before... 12X12

 

This one is a little bigger... I want to say 16X20

An angled one so you can get an idea of the size...

What do you think? I love them!