they will know us by our Love: Heart Abandoned

Oh. God is so good. Seriously. And I just poured green tea on myself. Sweet.

Anyways, back to God's goodness. So I have known that I needed to go to the girl community group at UBC for a week and a half now. I knew God was telling me to... and I was totally planning on it, and excited at that. But then, today, reality hit me. I was so nervous. I am not good in social situations in which I know no one. I hate it. So much. I was freaking out. I parked and sat in my car... praying that I would actually go in. I even wrote in my journal how nervous I was and that I needed God to help me obey. I didn't want to go, but I wanted to obey. The verse that talks about God giving us the will to obey and the power to do what pleases Him came to mind... So I walked in... it was really awkward at first, but probably because I am such an awkward person. I thrive in awkwardness. I found the room and guess what!?! My dear friend from camp, Aarika, or Everyday Italian was there... I basically collapsed into her arms. Yall. It was one of the biggest blessings ever. Seriously. I love that God knows my fears and my anxiety and He places people and songs and verses to reaffirm His plan.
So after, I went to Common Grounds to journal and read. CG has become my haven. I go there when I don't want to be distracted, whether it be schoolwork or preparing for Bible Studies, or just reading, I get so much more done there than in my apartment. I sat with my friend, Megan, talked about life, ran into 2 friends from camp. THAT was a blessing, too. They are two of the most joyful people I know. I am meeting with them tomorrow morning and I am SO stoked.

I am still nervous about Bible Study starting on Sunday... mehhh. But I know that when I abide in Christ, I am sufficient for His purposes, because it is Him in me.

I found this verse yesterday... it's so encouraging to know that everything here will fade away... "The Lord is my inheritance, I will hope in Him!" - Lamentations 3

These verses caught my eye this morning:
"Let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in His presence whenever our hearts condemn us." - 1 John 3:18-20
I love that rest that is found when I know I am in His presence... when I know I am abiding with Him. And I love how God always connects what He teaches me... I read this tonight in Crazy Love:
"People who are obsessed with Jesus give freely and openly, without censure. Obsessed people love those who hate them and who can never love them back. Obsessed people are more concerned with obeying God than doing what is expected or fulfilling the status quo."

And then more about love from 1 Thessalonians:
"And may the Lord make your love grow and overflow to each other and to every one else, just as our love overflows toward you. As a result, Christ will make your hearts strong, blameless, and holy when you stand before the Father..."
I love the word "overflow" there... I can just see God's love pouring out of His people and over everyone around them. It's sad that it doesn't often work that way.

The final quote I found today is again from Crazy Love... I love it because God had pointed out to me the lyric: "So I stand with arms high and heart abandoned in awe of the One who gave it all..." from Hillsong United's "The Stand" today, and then I read this quote:

"God wants us to trust Him with abandon. He wants to show us how He works and cares for us. He wants to be our refuge."

I have to learn to let Jesus take care of me. I need to step back and watch Him work. I know He will.