October's been great! Time for November!

I've been praying a lot about prayer lately. I don't remember many sermons at my church from when I was in elementary school. Maybe two. I wasn't ever paying attention. So what I do remember, really stuck with me... Once, my pastor was talking about prayer, and how we should pray for God's will, not our own... Now, it may have been my concrete operational thinking as a 9 or 10 year old, but what I heard was if you pray for God's will to be done, not our own, He will let what you want happen... almost like we change His mind because we are so selfless in our prayers. I'm not sure if this is what he said, or meant... but that's kind of always been in the back of my mind lately. In fact, I feel like that is how a lot of us approach prayer. I'm going to prove to God how great I am by praying for His will, instead of my own, and when He sees how selfless I am, He will give me what I want out of the graciousness of His heart. Of course, we aren't thinking like that... normally these prayers come out in desperation... a loved one sick and dying, really wanting to make a team or get a specific job... But I have to remind myself that when I pray for God to do what He wants, I am telling Him to do whatever He wants, regardless of me. Without trust, that's scary! I have been learning to get it out of my head that when I pray for Him to put me where He wants me, or do with me what He wants, I am completely abandoning my will. It's not about being selfless, it's realizing I am nothing.

roomies!

Favorite picture from the weekend

blue!

waiting on the kids... I have NO idea what we were doing

shakes!

besties on megaphones

2343 crusty eye lashes...

Check out daniel's sweet moves... she dressed like me, I dressed like her! and we left mass facebook video messages

mkk so I am just going to start out by posting a video that just came back into my life. Why I am posting this, I don't know... maybe because it brings me great joy and reminds me of high school bliss. My best friend and I made this video one day. It was a summer day after graduation, I was about to leave for Baby Ruths at PC, and we were bored out of our minds. So I mean, why not make a music video to Queen?



Please promise not to judge me after you watch this.


On a different note, I have been so challenged the past couple days, and it's been awesome! My church did a panel on companies that give back, including TOMS, and that is where the Francis quote comes from...

I have been challenged to do more than I would normally do, to give more than I can give, and to trust God to be my Jehovah Jireh. I have been looking at other opportunities outside of camp next summer, which makes my stomach hurt and eyes well up, but I figure I might as well look!

I am also considering going to El Salvador in January... another thing I never thought I would do. Pine Cove has something called Commission Camping, which involves PC staff going to Central and South American countries and teaching them how to run camp! So they can in turn put on camp for their people after a few years of our help! sweet! Well, basically, besides the fact that I hate flying and all other public modes of transportation, and getting sick, and the fact that I know very little spanish, the only thing that freaks me out is being able to pay for the trip... The few people I have talked to have, of course, assured me that He will provide if He wants me to go... but sometimes I worry I miss out on His memos and He either wants me to do something or doesn't want me to do it, and I do the opposite. Which turns out lame.


VIDEO! 2 of the main guys are now my bosses!! love those guys...

http://www.pinecove.com/aboutus/video/PC_CommissionCamping.php

Quotes from work:
7 year old drama queen: [wailing] MY PAPER CUTTTT IS SHOOWWWWINNNGGG
me: Now, Kaitlin, is that an appropriate way to tell me about your problem?
[stare... sniffle]
her: no... it just HURTTTSSS SOOO BADDDD
me: tell me like a big girl what you need me to do...
her: can I get a paper towel to mop up all the blood?
me: there is no blood...

Same girl tries to do a bad leg cartwheel and fails [she really is good when she applies herself]
She cries... wails... again.
me: Kaitlin, you're doing fine...
her: I can't do it!! IT'S SO HARD BEING ME!!

It always makes me feel accomplished when they get so upset about having to leave. they don't hate me!

And you know I work way too much with kids when I cringe every time a girl coughs nastily. Which was a lot today... I can feel the germs.


I found this today in 1st Corinthians:

The KINGDOM OF GOD is not just fancy talk.
It is LIVING BY GOD'S POWER.

love it!

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

[St. Francis of Assisi]

ASKJB,HDPGUEWNFLAGL.HHCUTRHOGAG!

A. I've been learning a lot about how grace and works come together in salvation. I was listening to a sermon from my church back home, and our pastor said this:

Jesus' life with the poor modeled for us individually and corporately what a life, a soul, that had experienced the mercy of God through salvation by faith alone through grace alone would look like. So that a heart that has been touched by the mercy of God freely and quickly extends mercy to others... As we get to know Him more, our hands loosen around the things we deem as ours, and we extend them to those in need.
[Matt Chandler]

B. I have learned that just because I choose to obey, doesn't mean God is going to make following through easy for me.

C. I've learned that regardless of how tough my life may seem, I've got it good. I have been so blessed. This past week was rough and weird, and through other people, He has reminded me how blessed I am. I have nothing to complain about.

D. I am memorizing 2 Peter 1. Here is the first part. I love it.

As we know Jesus better, His divine power gives us everything we need for living a Godly life. He has chosen us to receive His own glory and goodness!

E. I am learning to find joy in the little things at work. If I don't, I just want to kill them all.
Me[to a 5 year old]: Sam, your turn! Is your full name Samuel?
Sam: No, my middle name is Samuel.
Me: oh, what's your first name, then?
Sam: Sam...

Me[to middle school tumblers]: oh man this is my favorite song from HSM! And don't look at me like yall are too old to like HSM... It came out when I was a senior and I still love it!
Girl: wait... how old are you?
Me: 20
Girl: WHHAAATT...
Me: yeah, I know
Girl: You look like you could be in 8th grade!!
Me: Really, 8th grade??
Girl: Yeah, you could so go to my school!

baha. There are so many more. I wish I had a piece of paper with me so I could write them all down.

F. One of my biggest fears is that I will stop growing. I am praying that my hunger for Christ will not be sustained. That would be the worst thing ever. I want to know Christ!

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me.
Break my heart for what breaks yours
Everything I am for your Kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth to eternity.

Radio Let Me Be Your DJ

This is a shallow post. I apologize to those who do not appreciate shallowness. My weekend was so great, so I wanted to share.

A more thoughtful post shall come later. I hope.

After 2 hours in the car, our State Fair adventures had begun! We took this picture right before walking the wrong way to the fair... some parking guy had to stop us and tell us we were going the wrong way... it wasn't my fault! My dad said to follow the people, and there weren't any!!

Lacey had never been to the fair before... so we went to meet Big Tex, of course. We went to all my favorite attractions: the bird show, the auto shows, Hall of State, CORN DOGS, etc.

Unaware we were making the same face. On another note, who thought of these things? hmm i'm gonna take a picture of something completely random like flowers, blow it up really big, and cut holes for faces... Just seems weird, that's all.

For our ag friends everywhere.

At the Backyard Circus-- This is where dreams come true. When I was little, my only desire was to be the tight rope walker. Finally, after years of attending, they let me do it. My heart was overjoyed. We did not participate this year, since I think the average age is 4, but it will always have a special place in my heart!In front of Hall of State!! One of my favorite buildings in Texas! And it's all about Texas! hooray! I wrote an architecture report on this building in 6th grade, and have loved it ever since.

I think this appropriately shows our different personalities. While at the car show, we also picked out our "I'm not a regular mom, I'm a cool mom" cars... Mine is a hummer. 13 miles to the gallon, baby... which means it will also be my "I'm not a regular mom, I'm a rich mom" car too!

My namesake!! yeahh!

I love you, explorer!!

Sunroof fun in the explorer. We didn't mean to match. People probably thought we were little high school besties who made the shirts just for the fair. false.In honor of all things fried, we tried a deep fried snickers. Although it did not look very good, it was fairly delicious. We split one. That was plenty. I also tried some of my brother's chicken fried bacon. It wasn't good.

We then made the 3 hour drive to College Station to meet up with our Towers friends! Oh happy day! We of course rocked out to Hannah Montana, Wicked, Hairspray, and Phantom all the way there. Then stopped at Starbucks to try to recover from the long car rides and sick nasty fair sweat and dirt.

The tailgate was so fun. Being able to chill and talk with friends you never see, but always miss, is so great. I am so comfortable around these people, after living through the best and worst of times at camp, it's like I've known them for years. They are my family.
I had many much needed conversations... One of which with my dear friend, Katie. I love you, girl! Talking to you is always such an encouragement... you make those you come into contact with feel appreciated and loved. See you Friday!

The tailgate itself was slightly overwhelming. Too many people for a non-otter. I tried really hard to be social... wandering from circle to circle in a circle... But finally just ended up sitting down and talking to one or two people for the remainder, until Jonathan, Drew and I decided to leave. After discussing our stressful weeks, we decided ice cream and a movie was the only answer. A lot of ice cream.

So we bought enough ice cream for 15 people, went to Drew's house, and watched Baby Mama. And then fell asleep. A. that movie is hilarious. B. Being able to not do anything for hours was so so nice.

We met up with some friends at Free Birds and got the monster burrito. It's the size of a baby. Seriously. We split it into three parts, and it ended up being a good amount!

For more pictures, click here and here.

Basically, moral of the story: I am blessed. I think I forget that way too often. I think I am entitled to certain things, when in reality, I am entitled to nothing. Which is a pretty sweet place to be in... Everything is a gift. Nothing is deserved. All by grace. That leaves me completely free to trust my Jesus.

Love will come back around

what happens when being obedient isn't so cut and dry?

what if you don't know which way is the right way?

what do you do then? do you sit and wait, knowing He will make His way clear?

or do you act, knowing that He is faithful and will be glorified in whatever decision you make?

I have never been so stuck before, in so many ways. I can do one thing, and be fine... I can do another thing...
and be fine. but I don't want to be fine. I want to be obedient.

I want to hear what He is telling me and do what He wants. but I can't hear what He is telling me.
and I don't know what He wants.

I feel useless, pointless, without a purpose. I'm struggling with trusting that He will reveal His plan when His time comes.

"Don't be troubled. You trust God, now trust in me...
I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life.
No one can come to the Father except through me."

He is the Way. I abide in Him, and He in me... When I abide, I am following the Way, because He is the Way.

When I realized this on Sunday, I was comforted. Still slightly freaking out. But comforted.
Those decisions I have to make do not hold any weight to following the Way.
That is my only purpose... to abide and glorify. Nothing else matters.

So while I don't know right now what decision to make, it doesn't matter.
As long as I am following the Way.

He will let me know when we get there.

refreshing exhaustion

I wish I had time to write more about everything. Hopefully later.
a. i think I just drank mold.

b. memorable quote:
during catch phrase--
me: "there are 31 of these..."
Bubbles: "STATES!"

c. 3 tests.
4 day week, 3 day weekend.
c-stat, here I come!

bama

i look 12

long weekend

oh shakes...

anticipation

sic 'em

cheese. we are the best catchphrasers ever.

presh.

"Miss ninja... miss ninja..."
or the occasional "mister ninja..."
whatev.

Just to know You and be loved is enough

Wow... crazy weekend at the Towers... I think we got a glimpse of what camp would look like without counselors. Mass chaos. Luckily, no one died. Although a few boys almost shot me with their bb guns. They would turn around, guns flailing in the air, needing help... So I started explaining the rules multiple times instead of just twice... One time, I told them that the guns could not leave the stalls... ever. ever. And a boy said, "yeah, just like people can't leave the air..." hmmm okay?

The kids were out of control... because the sponsors were out of control. It's sad when 20-year-old college kids expect and enforce better discipline than the parents present. Slow songs at Club were talked and laughed through... The kids totally had control over the adults, which left the college staff in some awkward positions.

Some of the adults said some mean things, too! But it was so cool because we got to show these kids unconditional love and hopefully set an example for the leaders. We danced with them and played with them and imagined with them and were patient with them and worshiped with them. The leaders would start video taping everything when we would start doing cheers and dances and games with them... that was actually funny. slash awkward.

I have been really thinking about the difference between knowledge of Christ and a relationship with Christ, and I will post about that later... I have to go to work now!

peace.

dancin

jail keepin

war ballin

I love this picture!

love God. embrace beauty. live life to the fullest.

Live. And Live Well.
BREATHE. Breathe in and Breathe deeply. Be PRESENT.
Do not be past. Do not be future. Be now.
On a crystal clear, breezy 70 degree day, roll down the windows and FEEL the wind against your skin.
Feel the warmth of the sun.
If you run, then allow those first few breaths on a cool Autumn day to FREEZE your lungs and do not just be alarmed, be ALIVE.
Get knee-deep in a novel and LOSE track of time.
If you bike, pedal HARD… and if you crash then crash well.
Feel the SATISFACTION of a job well done—
a paper well-written, a project thoroughly completed, a play well-performed.
If you must wipe the snot from your 3-year old’s nose, don’t be disgusted if the Kleenex didn’t catch it all…
because soon he’ll be wiping his own.
If you’ve recently experienced loss, then GRIEVE.
And Grieve well.
At the table with friends and family, LAUGH.
If you’re eating and laughing at the same time, then might as well laugh until you puke.
And if you eat, then SMELL.
The aromas are not impediments to your day.
Steak on the grill, coffee beans freshly ground, cookies in the oven.
And TASTE. Taste every ounce of flavor.
Taste every ounce of friendship. Taste every ounce of Life.
Because-it-is-most-definitely-a-Gift

[Kyle Lake-- the end of the sermon he should have given the morning he died]