So I just got back from Corpus! Oh man, what a trip!
I met one of the admissions advisers and the department chair of psychology and neuroscience at the airport on Monday morning... Our flight into DFW was delayed due to fog. Now remember, I am scared of flying. So this whole fog thing was not working for me. I actually came to the realization that I have a major trust issue. I did not want to trust the pilots to do their jobs... I really wanted someone to explain to me how flying in fog works... But I mean seriously, even if I knew, what was I going to do about it?
So we finally got to DFW, and we missed our original flight, so we ate lunch at chili's too... and then flew to Corpus. I only had to keep myself from crying once... for this flight, I pulled out the iPod and listened to Matt Chandler.
The weather in Corpus was INCREDIBLE! The church we spoke at was on the coast, so we drove along the shore, and now I am dying to go to the beach. Around 100 people showed up to the rally that night... My presentation went well... didn't pass out or throw up or trip or anything. haha.
Uhm yeah ok so then we went to our hotel... We stayed at the Embassy Suites in Corpus. I got my own suite at the Embassy Suites in Corpus. It took EVERYTHING in me not to scream and jump up and down. Of course, the 4 people with me are older and were used to staying in hotels on their own. I literally did not know what to do with myself. I have NEVER had a hotel room to myself, much less a suite. So, of course, I gave a video tour for anyone who enjoys watching me on the camera. hah.

The next day, we left Corpus at 11 for Harlingen... The car ride was fairly uneventful... I was crammed into the back of the van. We got there around 2 and ate lunch. We were around 30 minutes north of the border, ps. And there were palm trees EVERYWHERE. I wanted to go to the beach so bad! We stayed and talked at the restaurant for 2 hours. There was the department chair, two admissions advisers, and the director of admission advising with me... I was the only student. So at lunch, I basically felt like I was in a faculty meeting. I learned SO much! About admissions, recruiting, scholarships, President Sloan, President Lilley, President Garland, President Obama... It was insane! I loved it! I was just soaking in as much as I could...
We did the rally at the hospital in Harlingen... About 150 people showed up. I really enjoyed speaking to them about Baylor and answering their questions from a student's perspective. It was awesome!
After, we went to Chili's in McAllen, where we were staying. I was so tired, I was about to fall asleep at the table. McAllen is an interesting place... It really reminded me of Plano, with palm trees... and a lot of spanish speaking people. The hotel here wasn't as nice, but it was just fine... :) I still couldn't believe I got my own room.
This morning, we had breakfast at the hotel, and they had a texas shaped waffle maker! haha! We thought that was so funny! I don't think Ohio or Colorado have waffle makers... I love Texas!
Although the weather down South was incredible, the weather in Dallas was not, so our flight was canceled. The next one we would be able to get would get us into Waco by 10:00 pm, so we decided to drive... 7.5 hours. Oh my goodness. It was crazy! I mean, I've done longer road trips, but I was mentally prepared. Not so much with this one... I slept in my little cave in the back and listened to my iPod for a lot of the trip. All the Baylor people had little wireless card things for their computers, so they were able to work in the car as we drove! How weird slash awesome is that!?! Baylor hooks people up, man. I can't believe I just flew to Corpus and ate yummy food and slept in king sized beds and didn't pay a thing! ahh! I am so blessed... seriously, it blows my mind. Why? Why on earth did I just get to do that?

Well anyway, it was a blast! the blog is not letting me upload pics or vids so check out my facebook!

:)

*sniffle*

Well I promised a pic of my hat I made... and I finally got to wear it today! So here's the pic... I don't like pics of just me... so taking it was amusing... Anyway, how hilarious is that hat?!
Allison came! We went to this cute little store, and then drove around the circle 3 WHOLE TIMES without getting off!! aahh! and went to Common Grounds... and ate at Health Camp... ya know, just chillaxed. We also drove to the Waco airport so I could see what it looked like so I wouldn't have a complete nervous breakdown on Monday morning.
I am getting sick... spring allergies hate me. Or I hate them... Maybe both. But I am losing my voice... NOT GOOD. My nose is so stuffy! I am taking sudafed every 4 hours... merrr.
You should run the bearathon. This was my picture for my journal on Thursday bc I walked by and saw this and got so excited! Not that I am running the bearathon... haha. But I think you should!! Check it out!
I'm in the middle of watching lost... I think I watched them out of order... daang it. As in the first one second and the second one first... :/ O well!

Love.

So Heartless

I've just been really into blogging recently.
I have come up with a new journaling technique I am going to try. I taking a picture every day of something... none of myself or anything... just something that signifies my day. Then I will leave a space in my journal for it, and then print them out later and paste them in! I'm excited! The picture from 2 days ago was that day's picture. These are the two from the past two days:

I took this picture in the middle of class. haha! I was so scared I was going to get in trouble! But I turned my flash off, so he didn't notice. That's him teaching in front of the power point. It's a smaller class.

This is the view I had as I walked to class this morning. It was 29 degrees outside. Cold. But the song that was on my iPod as I was walking to class (not very happily, btw), was "Face of Love" by Sanctus Real... So those are some lyrics from it.

Speaking of songs, there are some good ones out there!
* My Life Would Suck Without You-- Kelly Clarkson
You've done it again, Kelly. Given us a great song to scream to in the car! I've had it on repeat.
* Live Your Life-- Rhianna and TI
I am still obsessed with this song... "We mighty full of ourselves all of a sudden, aren't we?"
* Single Ladies-- Beyonce
I mean, seriously. It's good.
* Just Dance-- Lady GaGa
I don't like her name. haha but the song is so funny!
* Untouched-- The Veronicas
I love the Veronicas! I am so glad they came out with this song.

I've been rather impressed with the rap songs lately. I'm not really a fan, but I've liked most of the songs recently... and then I heard this song:
Heartless-- Kayne West
Leave it to Kayne to ruin it. The first part is so cool, and I really had hope... and then it just gets dumb!! "How could you be so heartless?" dumb! The best line is "How could you be so Dr. Evil?" hahaha what on earth...

Anyway
I should probably do some homework or something. :) I can't wait for the weekend! Allison's coming! And then I get to go to Corpus! Hooray!

Today is my Pappa's birthday! So this is my ode to him. He gave me my first hair cut... and always gave me dimes and bubble gum for sweeping his barber shop! I loved hanging out there, and playing with the air blowers, and sitting in the chairs and watching all the people come in to get their hair cut.
My Pappa and Icee used to go on vacations with us... My parents put me on this awful, disgusting, traumatizing gluten-free diet right before we left for a family road trip to Yellowstone. So basically, I ate nothing all week. Well, the only thing I remember eating the entire time, every meal, was a turkey sandwich, with homemade waffles that my Icee had made. But my Pappa would sneak me bites of ice cream when all of my younger siblings and both parents got their own cones, but I couldn't have any. Man those memories are vivid. That diet didn't last long.
When we would go on vacations, each adult would hold the hand of a child... I always held my Pappa's hand... or he always held mine, one of the two.
He taught me how to skip rocks... and helped me fish... and taught me how to play real solitaire. and once, I broke his glasses in a pillow fight. When we were in Colorado. In the mountains. That was a sticky situation.
We would always read the Sunday funnies together... Now we do sudoku puzzles together. Most of the time we just mess them up.

Well, I'm going to go call him now... and then finalize my speech! and then do Greek homework! And then go to bed!

oh snap today was beautiful! The wind was blowing pretty hard so sitting in it was not pleasant, but it was so pretty to look at! I walked to common grounds to do homework for a while. And listened to Mae while I did it. It just made the experience so much more pleasant.

This past weekend, I went to my grandparents' to relax. We went to Golden Corral! haha! I hadn't been there since my high school rented out the room for the 10th and 11th graders after we took the PSAT! Anyway, I decided that with whoever my next boyfriend is, the poor soul, I want to go to Golden Corral for the first date... and I am so not kidding. I figure that first dates are awkward as it is, and I really don't like cliche cutsy stuff, especially for the first date, and I'm a fairly awkward person, so why not just make it funny and go eat somewhere you never would otherwise! My love language is quality time, so I really don't care where we eat or what we do, so why not?!? :) Well anyway, I'm excited. haha

I got to see my girls that I've coached for over a year today! I missed them so much! Ah I love them!

I'm so excited about Corpus, although I am still so nervous about flying. :/

Oh, back to the grandparents outing. I made a hat!! I will take a picture some time and show you. It's a great hat! haha. I didn't think it would look turn out ok. But it is wearable. The weekend was good because I actually wanted to come back to Baylor. Last week, I didn't want to be here at all. I don't know, even today I am struggling with the "Be Here Be Now." But it was good because I was able to get away and then was able to actually miss Baylor.

I am a major advocate of making lists and scratching things off. Sometimes I add things to the list that I already did just so I can make lines through them. I have to scratch off calander days in syllabi or I freak out.

Ok, going to bed. More life later.
peace.

I really should be studying for greek, bc we have a quiz tomorrow, but I have basically accepted the fact that I am going to bomb it no matter what, soooo.... why stress? haha.

Um fact numero uno: I AM SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SORE. My body is aching. Aerobics killed me yesterday. I can't walk down stairs, spotting my kids at work was awful bc it took me about 30 seconds to get down on my knees and then I just wanted to stay there... After my 8:00, I laid on our couch for an hour... just laid there, in a very straight position. I was imagining that I was in a giant massaging machine. Blair gave me a massage last night... but that was when my arms were only tingly and weak, because the soreness had not kicked in.

Fact numero dos: So I had the training where we all thought they were going to help us write our speeches for the Baylor rallies... yeah well turns out they decided to throw us a curve ball and wanted to see how we performed under pressure. So, although less than 24 hours had passed since we had found out we were speaking, we had to get up and give impromptu 5-10 minute presentations. AHA. I do not like impromptu. I was freaking out. It ended up being fine once I started speaking, but I was dreading it the whole time.

Fact numero tres: I got to have lunch with Drew Stallard today and that made me way happy.

Fact numero four: I hate Greek.

Fact numero cinco: I'm spending all weekend at my grandparents house. So I can sleep. and learn Greek. and eat. and sleep. And my grandmother is apparently going to make me take a bath in epsom salt bc I sound so miserable on the phone.

Fact numero six: I really do love the swings at Baylor. I've been people watching. I love just sitting there in silence and swinging... I was having an emotional break down yesterday, and I went and sat on a swing for 20 minutes... and read a few Psalms... it was so so wonderful. I flipped my Bible open to this:

Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be.
Remind me that my days are numbered-- how fleeting my life is.
You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand.
My entire lifetime is just a moment to You; at best, each of us is but a breath.
We are merely moving shadows, and all our busy rushing ends in nothing.
We heap up wealth, not knowing who will spend it.
And so, Lord, where do I put my hope?
My only hope is in You.
Rescue me from my rebellion...
[Ps. 39:4-8]

Great quote of the day:
Set up: We are at Vault, and I am asking one of my new girls, who is five, some questions about herself.
"What does your mom do?"
"Punishes me?"
"What does your dad do?"
"Spanks me... sometimes..."
"I meant... where do they work?"
"Oh..."

hahaha I laughed so hard.

Be still, and know that I am God!
I will be honored by every nation.
I will be honored throughout the world.
-
The Lord of Heaven's Armies is here among us;
the God of Israel is our fortress.
[Ps. 46:10-11]

Everything I Need Is You

Update on life:
Today was the first day of classes... I only had one: 2nd semester Greek. ew. I have a new professor this semester. I really want to do well... Mainly for the gpa's sake. It can't take another hit. So I took adequate notes and listened the entire time. The prof is entertaining. I went to Common Grounds to work on my homework after... OH wait ps I had homework GOING INTO the class today. gah. Anyway, I spent around 3 hours translating SEVEN sentences! I still have 8 more! aahh! My body ached from sitting in one place for so long!
I added aerobics as an HP today. aahaha. So 8:00 MWF, I'm going to be hittin the gym. Man I am crazy. Lacey and I are stoked about our tennis class tomorrow. I found out that for my forensic psych class, we have to do a ride-along with a cop... a WACO cop... sounds awfully dangerous.

I found out today that in a couple weeks, I am being flown by Baylor to Corpus Christi to speak at a couple rallies about my experiences as a student thus far. I will be there for three days... snap I'm nervous! More so about getting on the plane than speaking. I've spoken in front of people enough... CDA took care of that. But I hate flying. And I know that you're probably thinking, "how does she expect to get to Europe? By boat?" Nope, that scares me even more. We will conquer that mountain when it approaches. When I try to think of a public mode of transportation that doesn't scare me, I can't. And I know that you might think that I'm exageratting. I'm not. Ferries scare me SO bad. What the heck? Why!? Why would I drive my car onto a little boat with tons of other cars and let it float across the bay? All along with birds trying to eat the fingers of anyone who dares to open their doors? But actually, the birds don't scare me at all. I always have this predicament... Do I get out of my car, so I can escape easily when the boat sinks, or do I stay in my car, so I don't get separated from the family when the boat sinks? I guess busses scare me the least, although it freaks me out that we don't wear seatbelts. And the smell of them gives me a headache. I have this weird fear of train crashes. I've have only ridden in a few taxis, but I am always weary of the driver kidnapping us. I feel like the plane fear is self-explanetory. But maybe not, I don't know. My favorite show is LOST. I'm sure that doesn't help. I just got done watching the first hour of this season's 24... It's not helping me psych myself into getting on that plane. I never said I didn't realize my fears were irrational. I'm quite aware, actually. Thanks. I still use those modes of transportation. But I'd rather take an escalator everywhere. Wouldn't that be the life? Maybe I'm the only one who would find joy in that.

Wow... anyway, I am so excited slash way nervous for this incredible honor slash responsibility Baylor has given me! I hope I do alright. I get to miss three days of school!

Today, as I sat at CG slaving away at that beautiful dead language that has become my master, I was thinking about life as a student. I've been struggling with finding joy in the here and now recently... I don't really want to be here be now. So sometimes I am like "I get to go to class sometimes, play with kids, sit at coffee shops, and live with my friends? Every day? This is the life! What a blessing!" Then other times, I think about the tests and finals and how sometimes I get physically sick from the stress and how it takes me 3 hours to translate 7 sentences from Greek to English, and I'm like "WHHYYY do I keep putting myself through this? I just got done with finals! I'm already preparing for the next set! What an awful, unhealthy cycle!"
But I do love Baylor! Really! :)

Come, let us return to the Lord. He has torn us to pieces; now he will heal us. He has injured us; now He will bandage our wounds. In just a short time He will restore us, so that we may live in His presence. Oh, that we might know the Lord! Let us press on to know Him. He will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn or the coming of rains in early spring... "I want you to show love, not offer sacrifices. I want you to know Me more than I want burnt offerings."
Hosea 6

you're the only thing i know like the back of my hand

A few things:
a. I just got back from Henderson slash Tyler... Allison showed me her quaint town... It was quite adorable. I've always thought small towns were cute, although I can't comprehend living in one. We watched our video... maybe more than once. hah. Yeah, those 135 views... half of them are probably from the people IN the video... Today, we drove to Tyler and Allison hit Walker in the face with a football. When he got over it, he showed us his dance moves... HAHA. Kevin told him they were good football moves... Then we went to the Towers conference director's new house and helped them clean and organize... I got to organize a whole closet... all by myself. It was such a happy hour. I do love organizing. Especially when no one helps. :)

b. I have realized that I really am a creeper. It's sad actually. When you graduate from facebook stalking and move on to google stalking, you know something's wrong. But I credit that to Allison... It was not my idea.

c. Change your facebook language to pirate. It changed my life. Sometimes, when I tell people to enter the realms of the facebook scallywag, they ask why... I honestly have no good answer to that... I mean... hmmm... "live a little" is the only reply I can think to say... that or, "why not?"

d. I feel like I can finally write about not going back to camp next summer. Part of me is still in denial... I drove past the sign today and that sign has been such a normal part of my life for the past decade that I didn't even think about not seeing it again... until a few more miles down the road. At Matt and Katie's house, we were talking about guys and girls who back out of counseling or br/yg commitments because they just "didn't have a peace about it." Now, I had heard Kevin and Matt and Chris discuss the problem with this many many many times. But I had never said no to camp before now, so I struggled to apply the idea to my situation. But, today, as we talked about it, I saw it in such a different light, and really felt confirmed in not going back to camp. Although I don't really remember, my journal entries from as early as Week 10 make it clear that I didn't think I was going to be back. I remember struggling with this idea for a little while, but the crazy schedule of camp distracted me for the most part. When I finally told my boss no, I was distraught. If God's peace is crying yourself to sleep every night for a week, and then sobbing in the car at least twice a week for every week until now, then I have got it! I have come to the realization that going back, at this point, would be for selfish motives... That sounds weird, since life at camp demands selflessness. But I learned this summer what it means to obey... and as ironic as it sounds, going back to the place where I learned obedience would have been completely disobedient. [Mind you, I'm leaving out many, many details. I didn't just come up with this notion over night.]
I've been struggling with the idea of surrender and sacrifice lately. I thought I would include the definitions of these words, just because i like dictionaries. I picked out the definitions I needed.
SACRIFICE-- verb
* give up (something important or valued) for the sake of other considerations.

SURRENDER-- verb
* cease resistance to an enemy or opponent and submit to their authority.
* give up or hand over something

Now... The first definition of surrender is one I like, not because God is my enemy, but because often times, I treat Him like He is... I love this word picture of submitting myself to His authority after a long fight. The definition of Sacrifice is interesting, too... because I think that sometimes I forget that by giving up whatever it is that I am holding onto, I am doing so for the sake of something else... Ultimately, God's glory. Sometimes, when I finally let go, I feel stuck, like there is nothing left, when actually, my surrender allows me to act in the freedom of Christ.
What does this have to do with camp? Well... I finally got to a point where I knew what God was telling me, I just needed to surrender my prideful, selfish desires and let Him hold me. Yes, I still cry, especially when I think of my precious girls and my wonderful friends. Don't get me wrong, there is also a sense of relief... hah. Too many weeks spent sick and physically miserable soak my memories. I don't know why God has told me to surrender camp. I don't know if this means forever, or just for now. But I do know that as long as I am obeying, He will not lead me astray.
You may know this, but I hate the cliche... anything... most of the time, at least. It just really bothers me. So when I read Genesis 22, about Abraham and his son, Isaac, I wasn't completely ready to let it encourage me. I even struggled back and forth with the idea of writing it here. (A hint that my problem with cliches might be a problem... ha) But I love that Abraham names the place Jehovah Jireh, for whether it means Pine Cove or something else, my Father will provide.
* The Lord says, "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you." -- Psalm 32:8
* Then the Lord will provide shade over Mt. Zion and all who assemble there. He will provide a canopy of cloud during hte day and smoke and flaming fire at night, covering the glorious land. It will be a shelter from daytime heat and a hiding place from storms and rain. -Is. 4
* Remember the things I have done in the past. For I alone am God! I am God, and there is none like me. Only I can tell you the future before it even happens. Everything I plan will come to pass, for I do whatever I wish. -- Is. 46:10 [Thanks, Al]

Um yes. So what are you doing next summer, Haley? Good question!! Hopefully, going to France. Or London. I mean, whatev. Basically, I decided to stop worrying about it because Christ's grace has given me everything I need for today, which makes it pretty lame of me to worry about tomorrow.

School starts soon. My schedule... I can't even comprehend how it is going to look. 110 hours of volunteering plus work plus class. Plus friends. and Jesus. I mean, duh. Without Him this wouldn't be going down. I suppose food is necessary too. Showers are overrated.

peace. love. road trips.

oh yes.

for more fun videos, check out my facebook... hah.

KANSAS CITTYYYY

Our journey actually started a few weeks ago, while we were still at school. We each received a wedding invitation from Mark "Too Good 2 Be True" Smedvig in the mail. We were so excited. The only catch was that the wedding was in Kansas City, Missouri, 669 miles from Allison's home town, where the trip would begin. Well, we decided that we only get to live once, and that we love our Missouri boys like woah, so what the heck!
The day after Christmas, Allison picked me up in Canton, and we drove to Garland to get Lindsey... that took a while because we couldn't find Lindsey's house, and she wasn't answering her phone. But we finally got there.

The next stop was Edmond, Oklahoma, to pick up Abbey. The trip was hilarious. Sweet Allison had never experienced the George Bush toll booths... I wish I could add all the videos we took...

We got to Oklahoma that night, and explored Oklahoma City... It was a blast! We got to see Toby Keith's bar and grill! haha...

We left early the next morning for Kansas City... We drove for around 5 hours. We danced to many a song, and got a few of them on tape... When we got to KC, we were 3 hours early... We moved into Starbucks to get ready for the wedding. Lacey met us there... it was a joyous reunion.
The wedding was a blast... all 6 hours of it. ha!

There was a dollar dance, so we each got to dance with Smedy... I really liked the size of the reception... it was small enough that we actually got to talk to Mark instead of him and Chelsea having to scurry around the whole time.
There was so much dancing... even Soldiers!! What Pine Cove wedding wouldn't?
We loved seeing our Towers friends!! This is us, minus Rumpum and Little Kevin Walker. They had already left.
We stayed at the officiator of the wedding's house... Oh my goodness. The house was huge. HUGE. It had a basement, a lower floor, a regular floor with the living room, a raised floor with the kitchen/dining room, and office, maybe? and then a 2nd story with bedrooms. It was beautiful. And we had fun with a floor to ourselves. However, I must add: Missouri is COLD. It had snowed while we were in the wedding, and I wish we had gotten us walking up the yard... or small hill, as I like to call it, to the house on video. I had probably been in heels longer than I ever had in my life... We were exhausted and not used to the cold weather... Allison sneezed with her hands full and had snot running down her face, so Lacey wiped her nose for her. Anyway, it was slightly miserable. haha. But short lived. We told the family that we didn't need any more blankets or sleeping bags... In the middle of the night, Lacey left the air mattress and curled up in front of the space heater, taking warmth over the threat of catching her hair on fire... I ended up crawling onto the couch with Allison... we were SO cold. The next night, when we came back, we found tons of blankets and sleeping bags... HAHA. They had come down during the day and seen our small, good-enough-for-Texas blankets and felt sorry for us! They were so funny about it... We think that they were actually thinking, "IDIOTS... those stupid girls from Texas with their little blankets..." haha... Needless to say, that night, we slept quite comfortably.
On Sunday, we explored Downtown Kansas City while waiting for an IHOP-KC conference to start... The conference was definitely an experience... haha.

After the first session, the four of us (Allison stayed) joined our camp friends, Josiah, Bryce, and Joe and they showed us the cool, Christmasy parts of KC. Tons of photo opps. They say: Let's blow kisses!
In my head: yeah, like I'm going to blow kisses to a camera...
Josiah captured it... hah
Couldn't quite reach the cone...
HUGE christmas tree!!
peace.
That tree was hanging from the ceiling...
We went to a four story Barnes and Noble!! and Buca di Beppo!! hooray! PS, check out my Baylor Harry Potter scarf!!
Bryce and I were the only ones who had been to Buca... we were excited...
The trip back was slightly uneventful... until we started making it so... We took themed pictures, and called staffers for phone interviews... and then played a game with our phones involving calling friends and having to guess who it was... HAHA oh man... Thank you, dear Towers friends, for enduring the results of our boredom. I think we called almost PC Towers staffer in our phones... We also stopped at a McDonalds in Oklahoma that is built OVER the highway!!

wowzers, this is long! hooray for successful roadtrips! I just want to say that I love Pea, Belle, Chrismiss, StaGotta, Too Good, Miscow, and Salty like woah and I'm so glad we got to experience the deep community God has blessed us with through PC... It was grand...